6gu
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Post by 6gu on Jan 24, 2016 19:21:28 GMT -5
This board seems like a good place to "blogpost," about your life and general musings regarding /gfd/ and /rr/ relationships, so I thought we should have a general topic for it.
Anyways, lately I've been thinking a lot about having a /gfd/ relationship in real life. It's just something I keep thinking about, day after day, it never escapes my head. I think I fit the role well, especially with how I look right now. But at the same time I dunno how I could do it. Not just because of how difficult it can be to find someone, but because of a multitude of other factors. I've never been in a relationship before and I don't know if I could just hop into one like this. I also have huge self-esteem issues and depression problems regarding every sense of myself so I don't know if a relationship would really be healthy for me, and I don't think any women would find me attractive. I live with my parents (and probably won't move out for a long time, I live in a very expensive area), and I don't know what they'd think of this or how I'd get around it. But I also don't want to wait years and years for this to happen, my desire is just too strong and I'm worried I won't have cute boy aesthetics anymore when I'm in my 30s or even late 20s.
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sara
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by female, I mean transgirl. I'm saying that upfront to not confuse anyone
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Post by sara on Jan 27, 2016 16:18:44 GMT -5
living with parents while trying to find anybody is bad, okay. Anyway, I have one friend who is just like you. Wanting to have gentle dom girlfriend, but not really doing anything(well he did, something, like he sometimes uses me as his nursing tool, which is fine by me, cause we know each other for like three years). Telling you to man up or similar bullshit is useless cause having esteem issues is a real bitch, but anyway. Try searching on dating sites. Even long distance relationship is fine, like you have to get used to being in relationship(obvious thing: pursuing your fetish is secondary, just find somebody). Damn, I think I told you too many obvious things.
Now my turn, or something. Life is a bitch, I have too much things going on, to even worry about lack of any relationship in my life. But even if I did worry, I think it would be something like this. "I can't find anyone who'd want to live with me, so it goes. It's not really that big of a deal, cause <insert self-esteem issues>"
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6gu
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Posts: 8
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Post by 6gu on Jan 27, 2016 21:11:48 GMT -5
living with parents while trying to find anybody is bad, okay. Anyway, I have one friend who is just like you. Wanting to have gentle dom girlfriend, but not really doing anything(well he did, something, like he sometimes uses me as his nursing tool, which is fine by me, cause we know each other for like three years). Telling you to man up or similar bullshit is useless cause having esteem issues is a real bitch, but anyway. Try searching on dating sites. Even long distance relationship is fine, like you have to get used to being in relationship(obvious thing: pursuing your fetish is secondary, just find somebody). Damn, I think I told you too many obvious things. Now my turn, or something. Life is a bitch, I have too much things going on, to even worry about lack of any relationship in my life. But even if I did worry, I think it would be something like this. "I can't find anyone who'd want to live with me, so it goes. It's not really that big of a deal, cause <insert self-esteem issues>" Living with my parents while trying to find someone is bad, but you still think I should still try online dating regardless :x?
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njarf
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Post by njarf on Jan 27, 2016 22:40:49 GMT -5
Living with parents may not be as problematic if you're working on getting out of that situation, but honestly, it can also sort of depend on the person you're trying to get into a relationship with, I guess. Mileage'll always vary I guess.
But yeah, online dating's a good place to start. For my part, I'm living at home in a rural area (I got a pretty decent scholarship, nearly full-ride, to go to the college near my home) and working on getting into a graduate program for muh master's starting this fall. In the meantime, a fairly attractive domme has popped up on okcupid with a lot of interests running parallel to mine, and she's in the same city as the school I'll probably be going to come fall. I'd be fairly stupid to not make a move on this one, right? Now if only she'd log in and actually read my fuckin' message.. I was drunk and answering questions last night, and kept getting stuff related to sex/kink. I daresay I've ruined my profile and have no chance of dating "Stacy" anytime soon, so I'm all-in at this point. At least I was smart enough not to answer the one about strap-ons/pegging, that kind of information doesn't come free.
I'd say particulars about your partner'll be more important in determining how okay it is for you to live at home still - in this case, the one I'll hopefully get a reply from claims to have more than a few mental issues and currently is unemployed (while being a good few years older than me), so I'm not precisely expecting her to have made it out on her own yet. Shit, it's becoming increasingly common for people our age to put that off until later anyway. Obviously, if you're going to be dating online or long-distance exclusively for a while, one or both of you being at home isn't as big of an issue.
A quick word about online dating, though.. Might be best to throw out all delusions of /rr/ as a relationship dynamic temporarily. I've been on okcupid for a year (though haven't really been serious about it until this past month or two), and a grand total of two women have taken the initiative to message me first, both when my account was fairly new. On pretty much all dating sites, it seems men far outnumber the women, so you're going to have to send out some messages if and when you see someone that catches your eye, and maybe shouldn't be afraid to be persistent, within reasonable bounds. Everything I've gathered from reading about women's experience on dating sites seems to indicate that their inboxes get crammed with dudes messaging them wildly hilarious variations of "ey bby u wan sum fuk??" forcing them to sift and search for anything worth responding to.
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Post by overusedname on Jan 28, 2016 1:00:02 GMT -5
Living with my parents while trying to find someone is bad, but you still think I should still try online dating regardless :x? I don't think she meant it like that. More like, when you live with your parents you're basically fucked when it comes to dating.
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sara
New Member
by female, I mean transgirl. I'm saying that upfront to not confuse anyone
Posts: 11
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Post by sara on Jan 28, 2016 4:32:15 GMT -5
Living with my parents while trying to find someone is bad, but you still think I should still try online dating regardless :x? when you live with your parents you're basically fucked when it comes to dating. This in general, but I also meant that yes, you should try online dating. It'll open you to mechanics of it. And this one so much. In my mind, you can't find dom girl unless you know something about relationships in general.
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njarf
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Post by njarf on Jan 28, 2016 17:03:18 GMT -5
Thought I'd post this here since it seemed relevant.. I may have to eat my hat regarding some of the shit I said earlier. Looks like there's an dating app out now that's designed for women to take the initiative in messaging/pursuing. Might be worth a shot? I had head about this a few months ago, but at the time, it was iOS-only, so it was fairly worthless to me. Looks like it's made the jump to android now. nypost.com/2015/08/10/the-dating-app-where-women-make-the-first-move/Should be noted that it's not explicitly a femdom or role-reversal app. Really, it's intended for women to avoid getting spammed with dick pics and demands for nudes, it appears. Edit: I just downloaded and checked it out, looks like a Facebook login is required. Seeing as I don't keep pictures of myself on my actual Facebook (but I do on dating sites - I realize this is contradictory and don't care), this is an issue for me and might be for some of you that don't even use the site.
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Post by delightfullydomme on Jan 29, 2016 0:52:44 GMT -5
Thought I'd post this here since it seemed relevant.. I may have to eat my hat regarding some of the shit I said earlier. Looks like there's an dating app out now that's designed for women to take the initiative in messaging/pursuing. Might be worth a shot? I had head about this a few months ago, but at the time, it was iOS-only, so it was fairly worthless to me. Looks like it's made the jump to android now. nypost.com/2015/08/10/the-dating-app-where-women-make-the-first-move/Should be noted that it's not explicitly a femdom or role-reversal app. Really, it's intended for women to avoid getting spammed with dick pics and demands for nudes, it appears. Edit: I just downloaded and checked it out, looks like a Facebook login is required. Seeing as I don't keep pictures of myself on my actual Facebook (but I do on dating sites - I realize this is contradictory and don't care), this is an issue for me and might be for some of you that don't even use the site. I downloaded that app about a month ago, seemed interesting. But unfortunately, it was pretty much just like tinder (IE mostly pics and you barely get to know anything about the person), which wasn't a good thing for me. PLUS it had a shit ton of fake accounts. And this is a bit of a side track, but guys, if you do message first, please NEVER use some stupid pick up line. I don't care if you think it's clever. Just ask her a normal goddamn question. Don't ask me what I would do if I knew I was gonna die in 24 hours. Ask me about my dog or something.
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njarf
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Post by njarf on Jan 29, 2016 12:00:04 GMT -5
I downloaded that app about a month ago, seemed interesting. But unfortunately, it was pretty much just like tinder (IE mostly pics and you barely get to know anything about the person), which wasn't a good thing for me. PLUS it had a shit ton of fake accounts. And this is a bit of a side track, but guys, if you do message first, please NEVER use some stupid pick up line. I don't care if you think it's clever. Just ask her a normal goddamn question. Don't ask me what I would do if I knew I was gonna die in 24 hours. Ask me about my dog or something. Damn, is it that bad? And yeah.. I figured it was common knowledge that pickup lines are only to be used if you're trying to repel a person. Shit, the absolute worst I've done is snuck in quotes from "The Room" that would probably go unnoticed otherwise. Still cringeworthy to me at least, but she thought I was cute temporarily before ceasing to use her account (not the one mentioned above, whom still hasn't logged in yet and is about to be written off as a loss), so I guess it halfway worked?
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sara
New Member
by female, I mean transgirl. I'm saying that upfront to not confuse anyone
Posts: 11
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Post by sara on Jan 29, 2016 15:23:17 GMT -5
>using "The Room" quotes wha, like for what purpose? Sorry, but I really can't wrap my head around it. But about the app, It looks nice. Judging from the screenshots.
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6gu
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Posts: 8
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Post by 6gu on Jan 31, 2016 17:46:15 GMT -5
Ah after a week of thinking more about this I came to the realization that I'm not really ready for a GFD or RR relationship and started to feel less passionately about this. I guess I was just kind of in a weird honeymoon fetish phase, though I still hope for it to happen at some point of time in my life.
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boku
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Posts: 37
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Post by boku on Feb 6, 2016 6:29:05 GMT -5
Thought I'd post this here since it seemed relevant.. I may have to eat my hat regarding some of the shit I said earlier. Looks like there's an dating app out now that's designed for women to take the initiative in messaging/pursuing. Might be worth a shot? I had head about this a few months ago, but at the time, it was iOS-only, so it was fairly worthless to me. Looks like it's made the jump to android now. nypost.com/2015/08/10/the-dating-app-where-women-make-the-first-move/Should be noted that it's not explicitly a femdom or role-reversal app. Really, it's intended for women to avoid getting spammed with dick pics and demands for nudes, it appears. Edit: I just downloaded and checked it out, looks like a Facebook login is required. Seeing as I don't keep pictures of myself on my actual Facebook (but I do on dating sites - I realize this is contradictory and don't care), this is an issue for me and might be for some of you that don't even use the site. I've heard of this before. It sounds kind of sexist like they are implying men are gross pigs that needs to shut up; but it's also been argued that speed dating works better if the genders are reversed, that is, the guys sit still and the girls have to swap tables. Could be a great tool to encourage women to be more active which I support.
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Post by dewpoint on Feb 18, 2016 21:12:14 GMT -5
I’m embarrassingly thirsty and lonely and one of my distractions that presents itself too much in my daily life is “Oh I wish I had a qt sub everything would be so much better”. I’m trying to deal with mental health issues and need to focus on what’s in front of me, and if it wasn’t this it’d be something else probably, but it’s like come on I have enough to deal with, this is silly. It’s good at least that I’m satisfied knowing I’m not in the right place for a relationship, so It’s not as frustrating knowing my mental health currently hinders acting on my dom leanings. I remember posting a bit about this in the thread and one of the replies was something along the lines of “you can’t provide for someone else until you provide for yourself,” which seems so obvious but I never really thought about it. Got to get that mansion before you get the trophy husband you know.
I guess harnessing that loneliness and trying to remedy it by not being a little bitch and actually reaching out to my friends instead of being bitter that they aren’t reaching already and forgetting the “tfw no bf” aspect would probably help on that front. Don't know exactly how to chill my thirst but I guess it'll go along with the rest. I still just have a lot of work to do on myself, just gotta stand up myself before I can sweep a guy off his feet.
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boku
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Post by boku on Mar 13, 2016 13:06:42 GMT -5
Someone from the map added me and now they've stopped coming online. We only talked a little bit.
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6gu
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Post by 6gu on Mar 17, 2016 2:14:29 GMT -5
I’m embarrassingly thirsty and lonely and one of my distractions that presents itself too much in my daily life is “Oh I wish I had a qt sub everything would be so much better”. I’m trying to deal with mental health issues and need to focus on what’s in front of me, and if it wasn’t this it’d be something else probably, but it’s like come on I have enough to deal with, this is silly. It’s good at least that I’m satisfied knowing I’m not in the right place for a relationship, so It’s not as frustrating knowing my mental health currently hinders acting on my dom leanings. I remember posting a bit about this in the thread and one of the replies was something along the lines of “you can’t provide for someone else until you provide for yourself,” which seems so obvious but I never really thought about it. Got to get that mansion before you get the trophy husband you know. I guess harnessing that loneliness and trying to remedy it by not being a little bitch and actually reaching out to my friends instead of being bitter that they aren’t reaching already and forgetting the “tfw no bf” aspect would probably help on that front. Don't know exactly how to chill my thirst but I guess it'll go along with the rest. I still just have a lot of work to do on myself, just gotta stand up myself before I can sweep a guy off his feet. Yeah I can relate to a lot of this, I guess it's a lot of what I was basically hinting at in my last post when I said I'm not really ready for a relationship. I dunno if having mental health issues is necessarily as big of a deal for a sub but I think it's important to get it sorted out before you get into a relationship regardless. This goes for a lot of other things in life too, like being financially independent and whatnot. At least I think so, idk.
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